I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
