suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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