how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize