Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
