dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize