No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
