I think scott just propositioned me for sex
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
