So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
not ubering you a puppy
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
