she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
