If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
