We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
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