only if we run a train.
done.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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