is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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