new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
