shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He did a backflip because drugs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
