He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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