Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Everclear isn't food dammit
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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