if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
