The maid of honor just puked.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
