We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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