No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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