dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
