when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
