You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
