Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize