oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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