your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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