Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
