It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
