The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Help. Why am I so naked?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
