I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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