Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
