Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
