here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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