I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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