At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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