When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
