You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
