You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm like, not good at living.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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