I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
