You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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