I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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