I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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