it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize