we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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