hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
