and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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