i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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