Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
