I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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