just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
