is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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