She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
