we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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