I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
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there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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