She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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