ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
