He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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