who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
