I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
