Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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