I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
