well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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