brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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