I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
